Thursday, March 11, 2010

A True Conversation With My Brother (Only Very Slightly Dramatized, By Virtue Of Me Not Having Thought to Tape Record It)

JUSTIN (as soon as Zach has picked up the phone): So you know that Gwen Stefani song, “Cool”?

ZACH: Yyyeah.

JUSTIN: So do you think those lyrics are sincere or ironic?

ZACH: (Long pause.) I…

JUSTIN: Because, you know, it seems like it’s supposed to be coming from a sincere place, with all the stuff about them being totally happy for each other. But then I think, well you know, they say that if you take the time to write a whole song about how you’re totally okay with the way the relationship ended and that you’re both totally moved on … that maybe you’re not.

ZACH: Well, I…

JUSTIN: What I’m saying is I think maybe they’re not cool…

ZACH: (Long pause.) Um … I guess the lyrics sound pretty sincere to me.

JUSTIN: Yeah, I mean it is Gwen Stefani, right? It’s all heart-on-your-sleeve stuff; there’s never really many layers there. But those lyrics are kind of awful on their own, aren’t they? So I think … I think it would be a much better song if she were an unreliable narrator, that she’s really not over him.

ZACH: Hm.

JUSTIN: Next time you listen to that song, pretend that she’s just totally lying. Or, like, deluding herself. It’s a much better song that way.

ZACH: I guess. But if the lyrics are sincere, she really is deluding herself.

JUSTIN: Meta.

ZACH: (Pause.) I smell a blog post.

JUSTIN: Really? I was going to write one about the Chameleon…

7 comments:

Bill Reed said...

There's a dude out there in the world named Zach Zyduck? Really? I mean, really really? Stan Lee couldn't come up with something that awesome.

Justin said...

It is all true. "Zach" was in fact my idea I suggested to my parents, because at the time LEGO commercials had a character called "Zach the Lego Maniac," and I was four.

My first choice was Adam, which we will of course all recognize as He-Man's secret identity.

I am not naming my child "Adam."

Your Brother Zach said...

i was about to comment on how true that conversation actually was and then i was overcome with joy by the fact someone thinks my name is badass.

my day is now made; thank you bill.

Bill Reed said...

When my future hypothetical children grow up, they will probably resent me for naming them Aquaman and ROM Spaceknight. Especially if they're girls.

plok said...

Zach: Bill's not the only one thinking that!

Your Brother Zach said...

i feel like the most popular guy on the interwebz. thanks to all for making this possible.

it's funny cuz in high school i had a counselor for advanced placement classes ask if i was interested in joining the AP program. when i sat down at the table she looked at my file (apparently there is a sole, slim manila folder which contains my entire academic life.) anyways, before we started she looked at my name and said that i had an awesome rockstar name and proceeded to talk to me for 10 minutes about her son's band.

my high school counselors sucked for their purpose.

Megan said...

FYI: The music video makes you think exactly what justin is thinking... Or at least thats how i saw it.